Musing Bella

It’s been a long while since I was last here. To be honest life has been happening. While the events of the past few months have been unfolding, I have always wondered is this how life is going to be till we are grey and old? So many interesting things have happened just these few months that passed, relationship, health and career wise! So which do I dive into first? Well, you might just have to find out eventually, lol.

May I add that the summer in London is starting to pack up and go. I will be lying if I don’t say I am going to miss the warmth of the sun. Even though there were days (of scorching sun) I wondered who and what did the UK offend? My home country is hot but 30 degrees London hot? I have never felt such heat in my life anywhere else. I went to Turkey recently and it was 30 degrees and above the whole time I spent there, it wasn’t scorching as London’s. So again I ask, who and what did the UK offend? Anyway can we go straight into why we are here, soon 😂 eni ti a n gbeyawo wa ba ko kin garun, okay!

I have had my own struggles from painful periods to acne to missing periods to heavy periods and back and forth. Did I forget to mention the insane craving of sugar the week before my period starts?! Am I really having my period if I don’t consume sweet foods and snacks?

I am strongly against taking Ibuprofen but the pain I feel on the first day of my period is on another level. I want to describe it but I don’t think anyone can get it unless they actually had the experience in the past. It feels like my body part (in this case my uterus) is being yanked off and the force yanking it off is not letting go, like ever. Yanking mixed with non-stop twisting. And no, I don’t go ouch, this is not even a feeling of ouch. It’s a continuous pain, and by the way no two periods have the same pain pattern. Each period is a surprise, you get a pain or symptom and be like “when did this one start?”

The acne has been disappointing as well, because they appear and once they get treated they appear again, the same spot. It has been really frustrating, but is there something I can actually do? Avoid sweet, fatty and ultra-processed foods – check. When does my relief ever come?

I decided to get the acne checked in the hospital and I got some prescriptions, to do a review in 2 months. I am currently on benzoyl peroxide and one other medication, so hopefully by September the acne should have sufficed right?!

I am now back to being single, just me, myself and I. I absolutely forgot what it felt like to be single. Life can be very funny, one second you have it, and the next you don’t. I think this reinforces to appreciate the small things because the next minute is not promised.

Relationships are good, they teach you a lot. Personally, I learned a lot. I know what I can tolerate and will not tolerate going forward. Loving people the way they want to be loved is a big lesson I learned, not loving them the way I think they want to be loved. Sacrifices for loved ones, practicing active listening. The relationship was good for a while, but ermm there were just some non-negotiables that just cannot be compromised on. I think we both knew already, I was stalling a bit I am not going to lie, lol, but I know the thoughts God thinks towards me.

It may not always feel like it in the middle of heartbreak, but I have realised I am remarkably resilient. Moving on is part of growth. Relationships end, seasons of life shift, and new opportunities emerge. What feels heavy now often becomes the very experience that shapes you into someone wiser, more self-aware, and ready for better things. “Better” doesn’t necessarily mean more glamorous or immediately joyful – sometimes it’s quieter, steadier, healthier, or more aligned with who you are becoming.

With time, healing, and self-reflection, space will be created for relationships, careers, and experiences that serve me more fully. In essence, yes, I will move on, and yes, it will be to better things, because I am not static, and neither is life.

Dating is not just about finding the right person, it is also about finding yourself. Each relationship, whether it ends in heartbreak or fades quietly, carries lessons that shape who you are and who you are becoming. The process shows you how you communicate, what makes you feel safe and valued, and the kind of love that matters most to you.

It reveals your boundaries, your love language, and your resilience when things do not work out. What stands out to me most is how dating clarifies my non-negotiables. Some things can be compromised on, but respect, peace, extending grace and mutual effort are not up for debate. Without those, it does not matter how much chemistry exists, it is not right for me.

This is why I no longer see dating as wasted time. Even when it does not lead to forever, it adds to my awareness and draws me closer to the kind of relationship that truly fits.

Before I turn into Shakespeare 😂, this piece is not about my relationship status. By the way, I signed up for a dating show. Hopefully I don’t get called back because there’s no way I am doing that, I was probably high on sugar when I did sign up for it. But who knows, tomorrow may bring something special and I might get called back. Sometimes I hope my impulsiveness doesn’t go away 😂.

And also about adulthood, it makes me wonder – is this life worth living?! Something comes up every single day. Eye test, hearing aids, skin test, name it, I have been there. Is this what adulthood is all about really?

I am grateful for my present. There were days I prayed and hoped for most of the things I have and where I am today. I don’t know if it’s just me or this is experienced by everyone else, but there are days I wake up and don’t like what I liked yesterday.

Now before you agree I am having too many of them days, having studied Biochemistry and Clinical Biochemistry at undergrad and postgrad school, I loved working in the lab so much, until I did not. I am now in the administrative line and I like it for now. I am not going to lie, life was a factor as well, there were just situations that were totally out of my control that contributed to me not liking working in the lab anymore.

Tomorrow may come and I wanna be an astronaut or a producer, specifically on reality shows especially “Love is Blind” UK (I watched a particular season and I had so much to say). I might become a film maker later on, because there are so many movies I watch and I want to enter the TV and ask them “what the h*** is going on?” for real.

By the way, I have someone that just motivates me by just existing literally. Her name pops up and I am reminded that God is good, that God has placed me on planet earth with a purpose, that I can do great things, that I can excel. She reminds me of God’s faithfulness. You know that song that says “may my whole life be expression of your grace”? I literally see her name and I am reminded of God’s kindness, mercy and undeserved favour towards us. She will probably read this and wonder is she talking about me, yes you 🫵.

There’s been a new development, I will be getting a hearing aid soon. I don’t know how to feel or what to expect. Imagine hearing properly for the first time in my entire life. Life must feel good with 2 functional ears. I wonder how people around me will react to this, I really cannot wait.

I don’t think my palate is open to cuisines that are not Nigerian spicy and savoury, because I went to Turkey and I was miserable, I couldn’t eat none of the food 😭.

Did I mention my haircut?! Until my next blog post 💕